Avoiding an Arduous Child Custody Battle
- posted: Mar. 25, 2014
- Divorce,  Child Custody
Divorce is already hard enough for everyone involved. It takes a huge toll on a family, including children, but when a child custody battle becomes part of that divorce, it becomes even more challenging.
Often parents are worried and anxious, and they then transfer those feelings on to their children. Child custody battles also tend to get very personal and lengthy, which is why it’s best to avoid them whenever possible.
It is important to note, that while custody battles may get a lot of public attention, according to the American Bar Association, less than 5 percent of custody-related cases actually go to court, so it certainly is possible, and advantageous to solve these matters outside of court, for the wellbeing of everyone involved.
If you’re going through a divorce, particularly a very difficult one, you may feel the last thing you want to do is speak to your spouse, but it’s important if children are involved.
Even if you are getting a divorce, if you have children you will always be connected in that sense.
Don’t wait until custody issues have become nasty—begin talking immediately about how sharing and raising your children will be handled.
This is not only good to avoid a custody court battle, but it can also help your children weather the divorce more easily, knowing their parents are on the same page, and still capable of having conversations.
If a couple isn’t able to come to an agreement on their own, mediation is often the best option.
When mediation occurs, there’s not such a hostile environment as there would be during an actual court case, and most people find it’s an effective way to avoid a battle.
During mediation, the third-party mediator is just there to help parents come to a peaceful resolution. The decision that’s agreed upon during mediation isn’t one created by the mediator, although in some situations the mediator may recommend a solution, if the parents are unable to create one.
Watch Your Behavior
During a divorce, emotions are already at a boiling point, so you should try to focus on alleviating feelings of anger between yourself and your spouse, versus doing things that will make the situation worse.
It’s important to behave appropriately, even if you feel distraught, and always put your children’s needs and feelings first.
Avoid posting things on Facebook or other social media sites that could lead to a potential custody battle.
It’s also best to avoid speaking negatively about your spouse in front of your children.
Regardless of how good a parent you may be, during this time anything could incite a custody battle, or be used against you if the situation goes to court, and it’s best to try and make the situation go as smoothly as possible.
Work with an Attorney
Some parents may be able to create a custody agreement without the help of an attorney, but most can’t.
By contacting a divorce attorney, you can find out the facts and details regarding child custody, and dispel any myths or preconceived notions you may hold.
Regardless of your situation, the best course of action is always to try every conceivable way to avoid a child custody court case.