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Can You Approach the Prenup Conversation With Tact?

The dreaded prenup conversation: approaching the idea of a contract in case of divorce can be one of the most awkward points of your life. Many people see it as the fastest way to ruin the romance of a wedding.

Luckily, this doesn’t have to be the case, but as with any important conversation in life, you have to be prepared to approach it the right way.

Prenuptial Agreements in Rhode Island

While prenuptial agreements are important for every couple, they tend to be even more popular among couples who have already been married to other people, or if there are children from previous relationships involved.

Not only are prenuptial agreements recognized in Rhode Island, but it’s also extremely challenging to avoid enforcement during a divorce.

Tips for Approaching the Situation

Some couples may decide from day one that they’re going to have a prenup, which makes the situation easy.

On the other hand, there are couples in which one member may have more assets than another and that person may encourage the creation of a prenup later in the relationship, or even in the final days leading up to the marriage. The other person may feel blindsided by the prospect of signing a prenup if he or she wasn’t expecting it, or if the conversation wasn’t broached in the past.

  1. You may want to approach the conversation as something the two of you can collaborate on, in order to make it work for each of you. This is often more effective and less offensive than simply serving up a prenup and expecting your loved one to sign it on demand. More and more couples are embracing concepts such as mediation and collective negotiation during the prenup process, which will make your spouse feel like part of the situation, and less like someone who’s  is only after your money and assets.
  2. Think about the fact that the state of Rhode Island has already created guidelines for how your assets will be divided in the event of divorce. Let your future spouse know that rather than being subjected to a prenup in which neither of you has a say, you’d like to instead be proactive.
  3. Put yourself in the situation to understand how your spouse would fare during a divorce. Yes, you want to preserve your finances if something goes awry, but this is a person you love when you enter into marriage, and it’s not fair to expect that they’re going to be at a tremendous disadvantage if a divorce occurs. Working with a family attorney can help you find solutions that are reasonable and fair for both parties.
  4. Don’t try to push your spouse into signing something quickly. Give your spouse plenty of time to read over and think about everything mentioned in the agreement. Start the process well in advance of the wedding—never wait until the last minute.
  5. Use the conversation as an opportunity to discuss not only the prenup, but also shared financial goals you have as a couple, and how you see your future shaping up in terms of money and goals. This will make your spouse feel like you do see a long-term future, and that this is just one component of the start of your lives together.

Yes, talking about a prenup is tough, but if you can approach it with an open mind and a certain level of concern for your spouse’s feelings, then it’s likely to be a better situation for both of you.

The best resource for creating a fair prenup is to work with a family attorney, who can guide you and create a resolution that works well for both of your needs and wants.