Want To Avoid Divorce? Consider These Tips Before You Say “I Do”
With somewhere around half of all marriages ending in divorce many couples are more hesitant than ever before to take that walk down the aisle.
So how can you avoid the potential for a divorce even before you’re officially married?
Some common tips recommended by divorce lawyers, who tend to have seen a myriad of situations, include:
- Don’t be blinded by the excitement surrounding the wedding. This is a red flag to not just divorce lawyers, but also professionals related to the planning and execution of those pricey and time-consuming dream weddings. Wedding planners often say they know if a couple is headed for divorce just by how they handle the wedding itself. If a bride or groom seem more excited to plan the event than to worry about what comes afterward, it can be a problem. Don’t let yourself get caught up in the flurry of excitement and lose sight of what the wedding really means.
- Everyone makes mistakes, but be honest about them. No one is perfect, and we often make mistakes—including really big ones. If you have anything to come clean about heading into your marriage, go ahead and do it before you actually say your vows. Don’t wait until it’s too late in the hopes that already being married will soften the blow or the consequences. Be up front so your future spouse can make his or her decisions based on the truth. This is a standard that should be kept throughout the duration of a marriage as well, because as many divorce lawyers will tell you, mistrust and dishonesty are two huge factors leading to a break-up of a marriage.
- Talk about finances well in advance of getting married. Along with trust, money issues are another one of the biggest reasons couples end up visiting the office of a divorce attorney. Couples should get on the same page about money as soon as they decide marriage is in their future. It may not seem romantic or even comfortable to discuss money, but if it’s pushed to the back burner big problems can arise later. If you’re planning to ask for a prenuptial agreement, that’s also something that should be discussed well before the actual wedding. No one wants to be blindsided with a prenup right before walking down the aisle. You may want to consider visiting a family lawyer together to discuss these issues and work on it as a team so the other person doesn’t feel as if they’re left out of the process.
- You’ll have to understand one another’s expectations about sex and intimacy as well. Men and women tend to view sex and its role in a relationship differently, which can lead to issues which may ultimately result in divorce. Try to have open and honest discussions about these issues before getting married and let one another know what you need and expect. Like money, this can be an uncomfortable conversation but the most successful couples are the ones willing to communicate honestly about these issues.
- Agree that both of you will make your marriage a priority. Often people have difficulty shifting into “marriage-mode” and they still want to go out with their friends separately on the weekends, dedicate all of their free time to a hobby or put their parents or immediate families first. Before getting married, discuss these issues, determine what one another expects in terms of putting the relationship first and make a commitment not just to one another, but also to always putting your marriage first.